Welcome to my Blog!

Where do I begin.....I am an addict! I have been clean for 59 days----WOW! It seems so much longer then that! My drug use began in high school (class of 85)----used mainly pill, some marijuana, crack a time or two, oh and opiates (I did mix these drugs with alchol)-----sigh! I ended up on Xanax and hydrocodone for about the past 3 years or so, I have had some memory loss, fortunately for me it is coming back piece by piece. There were serveral things that caused me to seek help, my fiance', my son and my youngest niece. All 3 of them played a large factor; they will probably never realize that they actually saved my life!

Psalm 34:5
“Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.” (NIV)

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Headaches and Insomnia!

The headaches are horrible----my head just pounds and the pain again is unbearable--cannot concentrate at times it hurts so bad and unfortunately I just have to wait it out because nothing seems to help----not tylenol, aleve, nothing! Eventually it will be gone for a while---they still come back but they have gotten further and further apart!  Insomnia, oh these sleepless nights----I think my body just does not know how to sleep without drugs, I have slept drug induced for so long I just cannot sleep on my own.....that is one thing that I want----to have a good night, non-drug induced, uninterrupted, peaceful sleep.  Maybe with it raining or evening snowing outside----have you ever noticed how quite it is outside when snow has fallen!  I love that sound....I hope it snows this winter! Everyone comments on how well I am doing and that I will be fine now---I haven't had anything in "x" amount of time!  Inside I am not quite, its like my brain is screaming for more----I am trying to train myself to do other things to get my mind on something else, my two blogs are part of that, taking pics is another thing, concentrating on my son----one thing I would like to try and learn is to focus on myself some  as well!  Maybe trying to set a bed time frame will be part of that, trying to find the rest and sleep that I actually need!  Maybe I should start walking---maybe that will help! 

The headaches, in my case, appear to get further and further apart, however, the insomnia has not yet improved so I am going to have to find something to help me sleep so maybe we will try a long walk, warm bath and then some bedtime tea in the evening and see if that helps.