Welcome to my Blog!

Where do I begin.....I am an addict! I have been clean for 59 days----WOW! It seems so much longer then that! My drug use began in high school (class of 85)----used mainly pill, some marijuana, crack a time or two, oh and opiates (I did mix these drugs with alchol)-----sigh! I ended up on Xanax and hydrocodone for about the past 3 years or so, I have had some memory loss, fortunately for me it is coming back piece by piece. There were serveral things that caused me to seek help, my fiance', my son and my youngest niece. All 3 of them played a large factor; they will probably never realize that they actually saved my life!

Psalm 34:5
“Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.” (NIV)

Sunday, September 11, 2011


Well I guess I just found another trigger! So we have ATT who lets their reps get cussed out and screamed at who have to just sit there and take it, abuse and my ex and bunch----it sucks! How do you get rid of them or do you ever go away?----I will absolutely scream if one more person tells me to lock the memories up in an imaginary box again!!!! Not working!!!!! Anyone have ideas that are LEGAL let me know :) SCREAM!!! Okay not in such a good mood today I guess but this shall pass!

DAY? Domestic Violence

Today is one of those just goes in cycles---going along great and its like running smack dab into a brick wall and I hate that-real jittery today---maybe the reason is when I was driving to John's this morning and going down Kemp street and there is a cop coming down the street---get a little further down and there are 3 cops at one house 4 men standing watching and one man in handcuffs, keep driving and few more blocks there are 3 cars at another house and a woman frantically pacing on the front porch talking on her cell phone. Pick up John, we go to Aldi, come back over here drop some things off and go to United another cop parked up on 10th street on the hill with his lights on and about 4 people up there in the middle of the street....well go to take John back to his house and the first house I drove by earlier they were boarding up one of the front windows....there was an AA woman out front with a white man who was helping her board up the window! Domestic violence, of course, is the first thing that comes to my mind and it makes me nervous---doesn't matter if it is me or not but it pisses me off!!!! Why can't people just keep there hands to themselves???? It's easy----ya know just leave!!!!! The I am sorry's, the I will never do it again is nothing but LIES!!!! BELIEVE ME!!!! And don't be afraid to get help---there is a place her in this town that will come get you, give you a place to stay and your children and food to eat! They will even purchase you bus tickets to leave this town! One time could be a matter a life or death!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

What day am I on?

Very, very tired!